Dharma Thoughts and a Carmel Macchiato

I sit in a small quaint coffee shop near my home drinking one of the best carmel macchiato my mouth has ever met.

Last weekend, I took a trip down to a secluded temple called Mihwangsa. Its history goes back over 1,200 years ago. It's located at the very end of the peninsula, near a small town. It sits in the Dharma Mountains overlooking the sea. Some say these mountains hold very strong spiritual power. ~ Dharma refers to the Path of Awakening and teachings of Buddha which leads to enlightenment. ~ Arriving on Oct. 23, 2010, I was knowingly attending the temple at a time when a very valuable painting/banner is viewed. The painting is over 1,000 years old and is a national treasure. During this time of celebration it was said by a monk, that Buddha himself is amongst us.

That night the music played and we watched traditional dances and listened to people sing solos. We later pulled on a large rope (sort of like tug-a-war) hoping our wishes came true. Then we danced in a circle, hand and hand and I was in the moment. Buddha's teachings about living in the now have often been difficult for me to practice, but in the presence of such a charming night we all lived in that moment. I say "We" in reference to the community and visitors that were there that night. The Monks, the Haenam locals, the visitors from out of town and the sprits of the mountains.

I woke at 4am for bowing and chanting. Afterwards, I went to one of my favorite spots that I had found the day before and tired for the 2nd time to meditate and find my Zen. I sat posed and in silence trying to clear my head. The Monks morning chant played on repeat in my mind and I attempted to focus...or not focus. A man next to me, sat completely still and seemed so at peace, I was jealous. I was thinking about what we were going to eat for breakfast. I tried suffocating all the voices in my head for what seemed like hours but was merely 20 mins and just as I thought I had gone into a calm state of mind, my head jerked up..... My small moment of calmness was actually my body falling asleep.

At breakfast time, I sat alone and then was quickly accompanied by several people smiling and trying to speak with me and ask questions. Foreigners were quite rare and they were very interested in my reason for coming. One man turned out to be the one meditating next to me earlier that morning. He spoke no English but there was no need... He pointed to himself and emulated the mediation pose as he was in that morning, then pointed to me and shifted his body around in discomfort poking fun at my restless pose. Everyone laughed :)

I decaited more time that day to practice my mediation and although my experiences were similar to the past attempts, it is like anything in life.. we practice, and we keep trying.

I plan to revisit Mihwangsa when snow falls.

an art lesson

Today I taught my private students how to create a self portrait collage. It was cute at first, arranging the black clippings from the magazines as the hair, then the lips, skin,eyes, and nose... When it was finished it looked scary actually... Not pretty. Even so, I explained to them that art is what we make it. Art is what we find to be beautiful, interesting and meaningful to us. As we were critiquing these alien collages, I realized the words that were coming out came natural and were easy to roll off my tongue. Art is what I understand, it's what makes sense to me. A kid asked me last week a grammar question and I struggled to find a real answer for him. In English we have all these rules and exceptions to the rules and the answers still leave you wondering "Why?" Why is it like this? The answer is because someone made it like that and we have to accept it. Art is more natural more flexible, and easier understood for me. So as I was explaining to them that it's okay these pieces of art look a bit freaky, we put ourselves into this work and that alone is beautiful.

Here are the photos of Ashlyn's and Jimin's art work.

Breathing it in

"Teacher!! What you mean?"
"Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, help me"
"Teeeeeeeaaacher, he hit me"



In nearly 6 months from now "Ms. Lindsey" will be extinct from my ears. These days, the realization of leaving rushes over me. I feel ready now, I know that staying in Korea for the extended stay was a wise choice and I now can leave Asia and feel I conquered it well.

Yesterday on my drive to work I was stuck in traffic and I looked to my left and there it was- SEOUL. A collage of buildings, bridges, cars, and the Han River. My eyes have become blind and I find myself numb to the sights of Korea, but more and more I am starting to breath in Korea knowing my days are numbered.

Oxymoronic

So its been a bit since I've blog- this I know, but I compare it to a bf/gf relationship. Everything is all sexy and new in the beginning and then it fades and seeing each other naked is no longer exciting. Its not like I can say "Hey Seoul, go put on something slutty for me and dance around" You see, this is a luxury I don't have... so sorry Korea, but you are no longer sexy. For example, when I was down in Busan for my birthday we were eating eel and when the first few pieces hit the grill the little eel parts curled up and moved, I should have been frightened, but not this Lindsey, this Lindsey just put it in her lettuce with some red sauce and said "MASHI-TA" like a true Korean champ. Another example is getting a car-- pause for reaction-- I was a bit scared the first few times, but soon I had my shitty speakers cranked up, rolling around in the Sonata honking back at the assholes who were honking at me. In case your wondering, no one even notices how horrible of a driver I am because Seoul is like 'the mekkah' of shitty drivers. Anyways, back to the my relationship with Korea- Where has our spark gone? How do we rekindle this love? I'll tell you one thing, the bug situation is a big turn off in our relationship. I saw a monster of an insect the other day crawling in our office at work and I grabbed my coworker and starting freaking out thinking that it was some deadly bug waiting to put me to rest- turns out, the thing was A CRICKET!!... like it was no big deal to them....well let me tell you Koreans it was no Jiminy Cricket!- there was nothing 'Jiminy' about it. And not to mention, the fruit flies in my kitchen might as well be paying rent- also, I'm pretty sure two lucky fruit parents have just birthed a new family tonight, congrats on their 2 million little ones. However, on the bright side of things I am starting to pack for my much awaited 2 week vacation to Laos. I have heard nothing but amazing stories from friends and fellow bloggers about it so maaaybee...just maybe... it will spice up the Asian-love, thus helping me build up my relationship with Korea -because hunny we have 8 more months left together. So, GO KIMCHI! GO SOJU! and go all you little cute black haired kids with your adorable Konglish- Lindsey loves you. xoxoxox

a 1/4 dead...

Sweaty hot Korean summer on its way. Filled with mosquitoes and nasty Korean smells. I don't mean to speak negativley about Kimchi Land however I have to speak on something.... Korea- You smell!! I wish I could bottle the smell so others could experience the level of stink that enters my nose on a daily bases. It's like a punch in the face everytime I step outside. I don't know if its the Kimchi or what, but OMG please get proper suage pipes to appease this over populated city. ----Switch Topic---I am turning 25 soon and Kelsey and I are planning a trip down to the beach in Busan. I can't wait to feel sand in between my toes. Turning 25 has felt a bit more stressful than past birthdays. My life is 1/4 over. And technically in Korea I am going to be turning 27!! So my idea to not feel a 1/4 dead on my birthday is to head to the beach as soon as we get to Busan, strip naked, and take a dip in the ocean~ 야짜

because different shades of blue made sense...

Rain is what I see, D'Angelo is what I hear, and Americano coffee is what I taste. What is it about rain that makes the day seem to be in slow motion? Well wait, let me rephrase that, what is it about rain that makes ME move slowly... because my kids seems to be fueled by it.
This last weekend, I went to "Phantom of the Opera" ~ the play was amazing and completely sung and spoken in Korean and thankfully for 'baby Obama' he was able to "drop some knowledge" on it for me prior to watching the play. We were both surprised at how the language barrier didn't seem to matter after a few minutes into the play. It just goes to show that- its not what you say, its how you say it. Body language is way more powerful than then spoken word.

I would like to close with this,

Dear Korea,
I was outside today, taking a smoke break when I see the Home Chicken dude from down the street come flying by on his scooter and as he took a turn too quickly he fell off his scooter and seemed a bit dishevel as he tried to regain himself. A good 8 people walked around him without offering him help and soon he rode off after adjusting his chicken box, his scooter and his helmet by himself. I have also noticed that when an ambulance is flashing its lights and sounding its sirens, the cars on the street seem oblivious to it and the ambulance often finds itself stuck going at the same pace as the others regardless of the fact he may have a person dying the in back. So what I ask of you Korea is if I happen to need assistance on the street or if I find myself in an ambulance, will you just hand me a bottle of 소주 and 담배 - I think its best for me to just shake it off then accept your cultures kindness.

With Love,
The foreigner

A spring morning

Shoes laced tied up, turn the music up to appease my ears and hit the up arrow on the treadmill. I begin my morning with a run and clear my mind as I look out the window and watch the morning traffic move through the streets of Daechi. Cherry Blossoms are blooming but falling raindrops are weighing them down littering the ground with small little white petals. Spring is here. Although I miss the smell of Minnesota spring and green grass, Seoul's damp streets and colorful umbrellas are enough for me.

Bali Bali

I walk up the stairs and hear- "Ms. Amazing, Ms. Amazing!" I blow kisses to the crowd of children as if I am star and they are my fans. I have changed my name several times since I started teaching. One month, I wrote a different name each day on the board which varied from Ms. Beautiful to Ms. Sunflower to Ms. Pretty Pink Petal. Ms. Amzing seem to stick, however it is the kids that are truly amazing - they are the future of Kimchi Land. Korea focuses strictly on education, education, education. Korean school, English school, Chinese lessons, ballet class, piano lesson, violin lesson, art class, Bible study and Taekwondo. I had my kids do a timeline on "A usual day" - Hands Down...these kids work harder than any American child.... and most adults. Over 90% of my kids didn't go to bed until 1am. Keep in mind these kids are 7 years old!! One kid didnt go to bed until 3am on some nights. These kids aren't staying up late watching TV, they are doing Homework!! At times, I have felt sorry for them but then I quickly remind myself that this is the Korean way, this is their culture, this is what they value, this is their future. An average household Korean family has 1.4 children. The average family spends over 1/3 of their income on their child's education. Not only are the Korean children growing up in a fast pace society but the adults are like energizer bunnies. Work hard, play even harder, sleep when you die. Work 12+ hour days and then go out and eat, drink and drink some more. Resturants, clubs, bars, singing rooms, jimjilbongs, and PC bongs are all open 24 hours a day. Koreans call this "bali bali" meaning "quickly quickly". My life here has also become bali bali. I hold a lot of respect for the Koreans and for the people that have built this cutlure after being taken over several times by the surrounding countries. Korea doesn't have natural resources that help them to compete in the global economy, so instead they rise above with education. For this, I smile when looking into the eyes of my students and blow kisses with love.

Honey Nut Cheerios

Fresh out of the bed. Still have sleepy eyes. Sippin' on come coffee and eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cherrios. You may be wondering, 'Can you really buy them in Korea?'- The answer is 'No.' but I have friend in the Military that can hook me up with all the must-haves of America.

-- So as I crunch on them, I get flashbacks of my old house in Kasson, sitting on my kitchen counter watching Inspector Gadget before my mom calls "THE BUS IS HERE!" and Shelby and I start rushing out the door as Mom stamps her kiss on us. - - - Is this homesickness? Can the taste of my childhood past make me miss America? I ofcourse miss my family and friends but if I had to list what else i miss, the list would be short.. and it would be as simple as Honey Nut Cheerios.

Asking the question...

Today is a day of reflection for me... I came to Seoul to answer the ultimate question, "What is my purpose in life?". The question has been asked and now I just need to keep the noise quite so that I am able to hear the answer. I don't feel like I have had my epiphany yet but my heart tells me I'm on the right track. I sense my time here in Korea is coming to an end, with 6 months left in my contract, I feel it's time for a new adventure and a new country. I'm not sure where this new place will be or what it will entail but it will come in do time- this I am confident of. I call my mother to ask for advice - "What should I do after Korea?" "Where should I go?" and her answer is the same as it has been since I was a little girl, "Follow your heart!" Frustrated at times, I think to myself- what kind of advice is that? what does that mean? And then on days like today, its dawns on me. Go back to the basics- reflect on my God given talents, keep my feet grounded, and my mind open. The question has been asked, and now I shall await the answer.